Official Tea Party Memo: How to write a Letter to the Editor

Fellow Patriots -

In order to further our mission we must make sure to get the word out about the high values that we hold dear. One of the great American traditions, dating back to the shot heard round the world in Concord New Hampshire, is the time honored "Letter to the Editor". It is up to you - Joe Tea Partier - to get the world our in the finer newspapers (meaning newspapers outside of the "Lamestream Media") by writing letters for submission. This may be difficult, fortunately we have instructions for you to follow.

1) Title: The title of your letter will discuss the topic at hand. Please include the word "Force" or some derivative. The letter should discuss one of the following key topics - Taxes, Abortion, Taxes, Gay Marriage, or Taxes.

2) Credentials: Immediately start your letter showing your bonafides. Depending on the topic, either indicate that you are a "small business person" - either in a hard-workin' profession like "plumber" or as a "job creator in a new fangled industry" (taxes) or discuss your faith (abortion, Gay Marriage). If the topic is taxes, be as vague as possible about your occupation, if a faith based topic be as painfully detailed as possible.

3) Blue/Red State Dichotomy: "Dichotomy" is a fancy liberal word for difference. Indicate that you are in a blue state, but that it is really really bad there due to instrusive spread the wealth socialism and loose morals, and that you are sadly going to have to abandon the blue state for a true American Red State.

4) Distribution: Send the letter to a "Certified Patriot Newspaper" in a Blue State, preferably one as far away as possible. Indicate your sympathy for patriots living in that godless high tax state.

Example:

High taxes are forcing state business exodus

I have a multimillion-dollar Internet business in Chicago. Due to tax hikes, I will be leaving Chicago, but not because I am greedy. I cannot afford to pay 60 percent in taxes and expect to survive my competitors. I was looking to open my business in California, either Los Angeles or San Francisco. After calculating the taxes, I could not afford to bring my business to any placein California.

I would have the same problem in California that I had in Illinois. But not only would my business not survive in California, my 10 employees could not afford to live there, and I was told that their taxes would be just more than 50 percent of their income. Final decision: We are all moving to Florida. There, we will only have to pay up to 40 percent in taxes. My business would still be competitive and I think I can hire 10 more employees.

I wrote this letter to inform Californians of the reason that businesses can not survive in the state and have left to move to low-tax areas in the country.

Ann Martinelli, Largo, Fla.

5) Proofreading: Never fear. The "Certified Patriot Newspaper" will do all the necessary spellchecking for you. Do not worry about fact checking. Saying you live in Chicago and are "moving to" Florida, yet your byline says you are in Florida is unimportant. The fact you say you have a "multimillion-dollar Internet business", yet you don't exist on Linked In, nor can any reference to your name be connected to any business at all via "The Google" is just fodder for liberal busybodies who don't work hard and earn an honest day's pay. Nevermind that the City that the "Certified Patriot Newspaper" is in just rolled out a huge tax break for a "multiBILLION-dollar Internet business" that employs thousands of people, or that you aren't very likely to attract the calibre of "internet programmer people" (a.k.a. liberals) to employ in Largo, Florida that you would in Chicago, Los Angeles, or San Francisco. These are just details that the godless left will use to try to besmirch your patriotic vision.

Putting a bandaid on a tumor

Yes, Clipper on Caltrain again.

The fare readers at the stations have been emblazoned with little signs.

This one says "Always have $1.25 on your card".



The other side of the box says "Don't forget to tag off".

Of course, if you don't have $1.25 on your card, you can't do anything about it at the time you see the sign. This, in theory will be fixed.

If you see the fare reader, you really don't need to read the sign that says "Don't forget to tag off", by the time you have focused on the fare reader itself, the little additional message isn't really going to change things. If Caltrain wants to "address" the tagging off issue, they need to stop hiding the fare readers.





Caltrain is also using the bandwidth on their platform LED signs on these reminders, as well as training their conductors to make these reminders.

Of course, as I have said, the problem is the fare structure itself. It would be far simpler to have people think "I need to have enough cash on my card to pay for my ride". If they do, then they have at least $2.50 - the lowest Caltrain fare - which is more than $1.25. Get rid of eight rides, problem mostly solved. Simplify loading of a Monthly pass - if a rider has purchased a monthly pass, don't "start" a trip when they tag on - just activate the pass and be done with it. If they want to go "further" on that trip, right now they could buy a paper upgrade, later they should be able to tag on again, indicating an open ended trip beyond their monthly pass, with Clipper calculating the upgrade when they tag off.

If you put a million bandaids on a tumor - you still have a tumor, and you spent all your chemotherapy budget on bandaids.

If they refuse to change the fare structure, and want to spend money on reminders, there's probably a better way. Give one of these to all the conductors and after they scan people's cards, they can give a "Complimentary Tag Off Reminder" for people to tie around their fingers.

People who don't fathom repurcussions of their actions.

From a co-worker.

This nice drunk lady decided to nearly kill me last
night on my way home. I was on Lafayette heading to the SC Caltrain
stop on that part that goes under the tracks that has no sidewalk or
shoulder. So I took the lane to head down and she literally rear ended
me, didn't even try to swerve. I was probably going about 20 and I
think she had 10-15 on me. I was thrown off the bike (luckily so I
didn't end up under the truck). She ended up being arrested for felony
dui and I ended up in the trauma unit, just with some bumps and scrapes.

I'm just wondering what I should do from here, my bike is totaled (rear
wheel pretty much disintegrated and the frame snapped), everything I was
wearing was shredded. I know you have more experience with this stuff
than me.

I had already taken the lane and was about
halfway through the tunnel when she hit me. So it wasn't [like] I swerved in
front of her.

I just talked to him - the woman was drinking at home with her family and lived nearby. She was just "running out to get a pack of smokes". The family walked over and since she was headed to jail, asked to take the car - the officer replied that he had to impound it since it was registered under her name, and besides you are all obviously drunk.

I asked him to make sure he follows up with the DA and that I'd send out a sigalert to send letters to the DA recommending maximum sentencing when the time comes.

Agent Akit finds some very interesting nuggets

From Akit's Complaint Department - some very interesting nuggets.

A "change order" of $450.000 for additional Customer Service center support. The complaints about Caltrain are overwhelming the telephone lines that they need additional people to take-on the help.

and

Statistically, Caltrain is only 2% of Clipper's transaction volume, but more than half of the phone calls to the customer service center is about Caltrain problems.

Go check out his post - good read.