You won't be fettered by convention, or rules. You paid good money, at least five or six hundo for this baby, and not at Wal-Mart - you shop at REI baby. This ain't no beater bike like all those bikes nobody has ever heard of over there - "Seven", "Moots", "Surly", "Parlee". This is a FRICKING NOVARRA FROM REI. You're locking that thing up safe and sound. Bike Tag? For wussies!
Real Men of Genius.
You'll protect your ride, Mr Lock Your Bike To The Caltrain Rack Guy.